Desperation and curiosity

On a disappointed lazy Sunday noon, I tried to brood over things I have done, undergone , wasted, confused and regretted ever since I stepped into the so called alien dreamland. The gush of emotions and the enthusiasm which existed when I knew that I was hungry can no way be paralleled with the current stance of my brain. Have the worms eaten my brain?, that refused to realize that I am still hungry and starving or it’s the delusion of the desperate need for the momentary reason that has built the wall in my head. The curiosity to know things that happen in a bunch of years or the thought of the wasted genius (irony! , doubtful though) that has been killing thinking cat in me.

The financial dependency and the young lust (really!, getting older everyday) would never let me dream the life I promised to myself but rather direct me towards the worst nightmare. A lack of opportunity ( have I got one or have I wasted one already?) is leaving me with dismay. The more I think of the promises I failed to keep myself, I regret my human mean inability and thank the supernatural for placing me in the state I don’t deserve (but I need better things).

A wasted time over Pink Anderson and Floyd council’s philosophical conversations triggered me t0 retrospect the annals of my to be updated history. The desperation to the momentary bliss ( an eternal delusion) and curiosity to peep into my future have killed my cat. It’s the same murder that’s committed every day. I hope the person sitting naked and feeling cold and getting on the otherside of my head would finally break the wall before I give in,without a fight.