Arranged marriage: a letter to my parents

I really don't want to get married. Lately, I have been feeling alot of pressure from you. It's affecting me at an emotional level. I have grown old enough, I know when I like a girl. I cannot invest my emotional and physical life with someone who I do not know and simply based on religion, caste and job. That would make my life miserable. I have been constantly chasing school, job. I just started opening my eyes to take a break and breathe. If I like a girl enough to be married, I will tell you. Until then, please don't force me

It's neither happy nor sad. It is indistinct. I call it myself turning 26 or almost old

I need to dig a reason to be happy,but I found countless to be Unhappy.
Glad that I figured them a few on 26 or almost old.
 I mourn over a few for my indolence, though happy for the titillating fragrance ,
or should I call it! hope.
Change is indifferentiable, for there are reasons known and unknown, one of them is being 26 or almost old.
I will to control the known, wish to sane my direction to the unknown.
It is neither math nor any discipline, It's a 26 year old and in progress doctrine.

Well, I'm 26 or much older, but I am indistinct.
Is it being alive or fasting towards the grave.
Though its my final destination,I would love to flutter a few more and be brave.
I thank the seen and the unseen that try to help my reason or my existence,
I do this every blink till I am extinct.
It is  that time again,the  time to reckon the blunders I committed and  the sinners wealth I piled.

Ah, I wish myself a happy (????..) birthday or life.
It's neither happy nor sad. It is indistinct. I call it myself turning 26 or almost old.

Norwegian wood

I could'nt stop myself from scribbling listening to this beautiful song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY5i4-rWh44

I once had a girl or should I say, she once had me

అలల వచ్చి కలలే మార్చి ఎటు వెళ్లావే

కలలే మిగిలి నీ నిద్దర లో నే వున్నానే

నా మాటలని , నా పాటలని నీ కొరకేగా

నా కలలను,నా కధలను మార్చేసావ

wine, gin and rum, I am in my room

like a left alone groom

you flew from where we lived in bare

in the norwegian wood

I am left in the cold with my life locked outside

with the norwegian wood

Unsociable social people

I was invited to a house party with the house as packed as India. One of my friend’s shot me with a red plastic glass filled with coke and doubtingly unused paper napkin. The Dj was playing Black eyed peas for which I felt cold and couldn’t move, rescued by bumping into a hot blonde dressed in blue by singing me blues, Rock me baby- BB King through her blue eyes. I did Rock that baby, I Rocked her All night long – ah! What a virtual fantasy.

These virtual fantasies are almost becoming night mares to a few at the expense of some awkwardly unsociable, desperately dinner inviting dudes (righting it from a woman’s perspective ). Don’t bother about the word righting as it’s used deliberately. It’s the same house party background, I stepped in with a friend of mine NotsingleSally. Being Walked away by another friend Jhonnie to get a shot of tequila, Sally was left alone with single malt whiskey in her hand.Spotting her alone, an Absolut ass walked to sally and gave an awkward smile flauting his tar adorned teeth.

The next morning we woke up with hangover and sally hangs her neck in awe after seeing the message from the Absolut ass asking her out. Johnnie stops walking and asks Notsinglesally if she had said anything encouraging to this absolute ass over singlemalt. I vouched for her saying that ass did not even say a casual hi and we wondered how he could ask her out so awkwardly.

People, I am hinting on our awkward pals who break up on facebook, date on skype and ask people out for dinners over some networking sites. These people build up a huge virtual world around them ignoring the real social world. I pity on them that they don’t know that asking someone out over a social networking site is not so social .

Come on hermits, wake up, you cant have babies through Cyber Sex and stop hitting on others through text. Get a life, get a mic, say it out, Don’t be Absolut asses, vodka makes you impotent.

Coffee, construction and coding

When Prof.GS informed me that I should meet his clients, Ravi and Kalyan, the founders of Nadhi, I was expecting grumpy old people. To my surprise, they turned out to be M I S (men in shorts). The first sight of them made me feel relaxed and expected that they were just like me (a carefree and easy going guy), I had no clue of what I was in for and how these men in shorts are going to change my perception of studying, work and ofcourse life . When we started talking, their problem statement sounded interesting for two reasons :-

1. Its related to construction Industry

2. It gave me the opportunity to learn the concepts of supply chain and apply it to the industry.

The four member group comprising of Prof.GS, Ravi, Kalyan and me (Ajay) with guest appearance from prof. Rahul Marathe engaged in frequent round table hullaballoo. The moment we started getting our hands dirty , the problem became much more challenging involving the concepts of economics. Our rendezvous spots used to be CCD, Tiffany’s and GS’s office, which involved debates, challenges and mind teasing questions which could not let me sleep during nights.

We used to come up with a solution to the problem but Kalyan and Ravi always used to have a “but” to include more into the problem and make it more interesting (complicated at times). It was with them I learnt that research is fun but never a grumpy old man’s job. They kept me motivated, interested and gave me a life time learning experience. I could never imagine the founders of a company so affable, time sparing and versatile.

I had a ball of my time with Nadhi and I am proud to say that “I were there”. I wish I could wind my clocks back to the days of Coffee day clashes, after all it was then I figured out that coffee, construction and coding are interesting.

I wish good luck to Nadhi for their future endeavors , I wish luck to myself to work with them in future.

Desperation and curiosity

On a disappointed lazy Sunday noon, I tried to brood over things I have done, undergone , wasted, confused and regretted ever since I stepped into the so called alien dreamland. The gush of emotions and the enthusiasm which existed when I knew that I was hungry can no way be paralleled with the current stance of my brain. Have the worms eaten my brain?, that refused to realize that I am still hungry and starving or it’s the delusion of the desperate need for the momentary reason that has built the wall in my head. The curiosity to know things that happen in a bunch of years or the thought of the wasted genius (irony! , doubtful though) that has been killing thinking cat in me.

The financial dependency and the young lust (really!, getting older everyday) would never let me dream the life I promised to myself but rather direct me towards the worst nightmare. A lack of opportunity ( have I got one or have I wasted one already?) is leaving me with dismay. The more I think of the promises I failed to keep myself, I regret my human mean inability and thank the supernatural for placing me in the state I don’t deserve (but I need better things).

A wasted time over Pink Anderson and Floyd council’s philosophical conversations triggered me t0 retrospect the annals of my to be updated history. The desperation to the momentary bliss ( an eternal delusion) and curiosity to peep into my future have killed my cat. It’s the same murder that’s committed every day. I hope the person sitting naked and feeling cold and getting on the otherside of my head would finally break the wall before I give in,without a fight.

Aham Brahmasmi

A few months after my birth , I was left alone to crawl on the floor. I started crawling and soon I got my fellow crawlers. The path was safe and the crawling was self taught. It was almost like crawling over the bed of roses.

Soon I began to walk where I observed people, made friends, fought with them, laughed with them. I cried in agony with the fear of defeat but sooner I triumphed with victory. When I got hurt and was bleeding to death , a beautiful lady came to my rescue and nursed me back to life

Soon I increased my pace , a horse came hounding me. It was black wild stallion. The more I triedto tame it , the more it hurt me. I was tired and sapless and the stallion tramped me to death. My beautiful lady appeared from the sun's rays and transformed into a man with olympian physique as she approached me. He taught the fight and the patience , he nourished me with the architecture of thought. Soon I got on to the stallion with no saddle and kicked it for eternal journey.

Sitting on the back of my horse, I could see utopia enticing me with its beauty of life. The more I get nearer , the more I was hampered by the ghastly size of the mountain that was haltering me from my destiny. My thoughts started inviting god and my eyes could see a strong man growing old as he was approaching me. He was my trainer who has grown old with wisdom. He told me the story of the biggest mountain called fear, he told me the story of life, memories. He told me if I could dare to reach my destiny and get nearer, I could pass through the mountain like it never existed.

I asked him who he was. He smiled and tied a blind fold around my eyes. He started narrating his life but the voice was my coming from my heart.